Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's a little weird that I have started another blog, when I had a perfectly good one already. I just feel like it's a good way for me to write about everything going on in my life right now and sort of keep it separate. Not that this is by any means separate from me- I mean, it is me. Addiction is who I am. I am probably not making any sense! Oh, well!

In a meeting we were talking about step 3 "Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and in his son Jesus Christ". Everyday we read the steps allowed going around the room taking turns. I have had this step a lot when it has been my turn. It is no small coincidence. This is something I am working on. We have talked about how this step is seriously hard, but the most important thing we will ever do in our lives.

Elder Neil A. Maxwell-

The submission of ones will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God's Altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true. The many other things we give to God, however nice they may be of us, are actually things He has already given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in Gods will, then we are really giving something to him.

Another thing we read today felt right at home:

At first our efforts were anxious and halting. We kept giving the Lord our trust and then taking it back. We worried that He would be displeased at our inconsistency and withdraw his support and love from us. But he didn't.

1 comment:

  1. That is one of my favorite quotes of all time! I love that it is in the workbook. It was a theme for Elder Maxwell, and for me, it is THE thing he taught me. I was JUST thinking about it the other night, seriously, that our will is the only thing we have to give to the Lord (everything else is already His). I thought about how everything good in my life came from doing that--my mission and eveything I learned there, the relationships I made in that period of my life, and my marriage. My marriage is one of the few choices I made 100% dependent on the Lord. My own will wasn't involved, and yet it has been the one thing that has brought me more comfort and joy than anything else I did with my own will. Since the new year I have just been sorting thru my life with a fine-tooth comb trying to find ways that I am still being willful and so many memories of these times--times when I "put it on the altar"--keep flooding back. My mission president used to interview us each month and he would sit across from us in a chair, listening to us. Then he would lean forward on his elbows and look into our eyes and say, "Put it on the altar, Sister." He'd always say, "I'm not going to tell you what you should do or how you should feel. It's between you and the Lord. If something is holding you back, put it on the altar!" We had this conversation about anything--from my resenting my companion for sleeping in, to not wanting to wear pantyhose when it was hot. The answer was the same. And it is now, too--if something is holding us back, we put it on the altar. The obstacle can be an addiction, a little lie we tell ourselves, a grudge,etc., or as small as not keeping a full fast on Fast Sunday or not being a faithful steward of our bodies (or homes, or money, or gardens, or some other blessing). There is always something we can offer up in the refiner's fire. And when we stop putting things on the altar, we are lying to ourselves, because there is always something separating us from our Heavenly Father, otherwise, we'd be twinkled! Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I love the scriptures Grandma sent, I love her attitude and faith and love for all of us. And I love you for not giving up!