Thursday, February 25, 2010

I have soaked in so much this week and I know there is much more to learn. I love these first 3 steps so much. I have to thank my sweet Grandma Lyn. She sent a letter to my mom and added some scriptures that might help me. She will never know how much it has!

3 Nephi 18:15

Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye must watch and pray always, lest ye be tempted by the devil, and ye be led away captive by him.

1 Corinthians 10:13

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Alma 13:28 & 29

But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above which ye can bear, and thus be led by the holy spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long suffering; Having faith on the Lord, having a hope that ye shall recieve eternal life, having the love of God always in your hearts, that ye may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.

Tonight I have hope!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's a little weird that I have started another blog, when I had a perfectly good one already. I just feel like it's a good way for me to write about everything going on in my life right now and sort of keep it separate. Not that this is by any means separate from me- I mean, it is me. Addiction is who I am. I am probably not making any sense! Oh, well!

In a meeting we were talking about step 3 "Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and in his son Jesus Christ". Everyday we read the steps allowed going around the room taking turns. I have had this step a lot when it has been my turn. It is no small coincidence. This is something I am working on. We have talked about how this step is seriously hard, but the most important thing we will ever do in our lives.

Elder Neil A. Maxwell-

The submission of ones will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God's Altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true. The many other things we give to God, however nice they may be of us, are actually things He has already given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in Gods will, then we are really giving something to him.

Another thing we read today felt right at home:

At first our efforts were anxious and halting. We kept giving the Lord our trust and then taking it back. We worried that He would be displeased at our inconsistency and withdraw his support and love from us. But he didn't.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Starting this thing

I realized after only a week that I really wanted to continue blogging but I didn't know how to go about it since I am working so hard on staying sober. I decided to start a blog about my addiction and recovery. Those that would like to read it are welcome, but I am not going to refrain from leaving out details, or trying to sound soft. I need this for therapy. Maybe someday I will continue with the Everyday blog. As of now, I am moving forward and trying to do the next right thing. That is a phrase I hear a lot in recovery.

I am a bit frustrated this morning. My Pathfinder has been acting sick the past few weeks and this morning on the way to my house the steering went out on it, causing it to breakdown. It messed up plans for my whole morning, which results in messing with others plans. My mom had to get up and take me to get the boys. She has a Dr apt for the kids at the same time as the meeting. Drew has to come get us so Jack can go to school and I can catch my meeting on time. Geeze!!!

Lets hope the rest of the day goes better. I am seeing Gordon at 5:30 tonight. I can do some venting then!